TO EAT OR NOT TO EAT

Those whose child is what you might call a “good eater” have no idea how lucky they are, or how much more peaceful mealtimes are than in families with a “bad eater.” Of course, who counts as good and who as bad, right… Is a good eater someone who peacefully eats their way through an eight-course gourmet menu in silence, happily? Or simply someone who doesn’t make a fuss before every bite?

The ideal is for a child to enjoy eating. You’ve surely seen a toddler look at the food in front of them with such disgust that it puts everyone else off their appetite too. That’s bad for the parent, of course, but it may be even worse for the child.

A child enjoys eating when they are hungry. It sounds so simple… And when they also like the food in question. But what if there are only three kinds of food they are willing to put in their mouth at all? What if they can’t move beyond the holy trinity of bread rolls, schnitzel, and Bolognese?

Many people have concluded in many different ways that no child has ever died from eating only those foods. Of course, that’s true, but we don’t think such a diet is particularly beneficial for their stomach or health in the long term. Besides, there are so many ingredients in food nowadays that have no business being there at all, it would deserve a separate post. So it’s definitely worth finding ways to get as much fiber and as many vitamins into children as possible - or at least giving them minimally healthy foods.

A very good trick, and there are now countless recipes like this available, is to try cooking a food they already like with added fruit or vegetables. This could be pancakes with grated apple or banana, or even brownies with beetroot or zucchini.

But let’s return for a moment to what we wrote above: a child eats when they are hungry. In many places, you can observe that children practically eat all day long. Breakfast, then a mid-morning snack, then some fruit - and everyone gets annoyed when, at noon, they only pick at their food. They simply aren’t hungry.

The best solution we’ve found so far, and the one that has worked for us too, is to give them only fruit for their mid-morning snack after breakfast. Just enough so that they aren’t ravenous by lunchtime, but are already craving a proper meal around noon. There is much less grimacing and chanting “I don’t like it - I’m not even going to taste it” in situations like this. The same applies in the afternoon: if someone snacks their way through the day, they won’t eat dinner, or at least not with any enjoyment.

Another thing is that everything really does have to be tasted. They don’t have to eat it if they don’t like it, but unfamiliar flavors and foods have to be tried. Otherwise, how would anyone know what they like, right? It has happened more than once - most recently around here with pumpkin cream soup, for example - that they reluctantly took a tiny portion, and then, lo and behold, discovered that it was actually heavenly. It has been a favorite ever since. Pressuring them has never got us anywhere, and we certainly don’t believe that anyone can eat with enjoyment on command (“You’re not getting up until your plate is empty!”).

The best advice we’ve heard so far, and the advice we can offer too, is that if our child is picky (a “bad eater”…), we should ask ourselves: what have we done and what are we doing to prevent this from being the case? Are we setting an example that encourages them to enjoy eating? Do we make mealtimes special, or do we often just grab something on the go ourselves? Do we eat a varied diet, or always the same things?

We don’t have to turn every single dinner into a huge experience - that isn’t realistic - but if children get used to a pleasant atmosphere while eating, when we focus only on them and on one another, perhaps they’ll be more willing to sit down at the table. It’s no coincidence that most children eat with a bigger appetite at preschool or school than at home; the whole thing is one big shared activity there (and besides, let’s all admit freely how many school-cafeteria meals were actually much better than the homemade versions… which is a huge mystery when you think about it, but it was still true).

Of course, we know that some people do everything we’ve described, yet for some reason still can’t get their child to enjoy food. All we can do is wish them perseverance and tell them that things will get much better…